Becoming a Sex Therapist Practitioner: How It Started & What No One Tells You About the Journey

Chantelle Lewis-Lambert
11 hours ago
3 min read

Most people don’t grow up thinking, “I want to talk about sex, desire, intimacy, trauma, and pleasure for a living.”

I sure didn’t.

Like many of us who end up in this work, my path into sex therapy wasn’t a straight line—it was a series of lived experiences, curiosities, frustrations with traditional mental health systems, and a deep desire to help people reclaim the parts of themselves they were taught to hide.

Where It Really Began: With Questions No One Was Answering

I’ve always been the person people confide in—friends, coworkers, family, strangers after two drinks.

People gravitated toward me with their real questions. Not the, “How’s the weather?” kind, but the late-night, whispered ones:

“Why don’t I want sex anymore?”

“Is this fantasy normal?”

“Why am I ashamed of what I want?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

When you hear the same quiet fears over and over, you start to realize:

People are suffering in silence because they’ve been taught that sexuality is shameful.

And I’m not here for that.

That became the spark. The moment I thought, Someone needs to start having these conversations out loud.

And then the next thought was, Why not me?

The Training: Where Psychology Meets Pleasure, Identity & Healing

Becoming a sex therapy practitioner isn’t just about loving conversations about sexuality—it’s deep, layered work that requires:

Understanding anatomy, desire, arousal, behavior, and identity
Knowing how trauma shapes sexual expression
Seeing the full person through biopsychosocial and relational lenses
Working inclusively with LGBTQ2S+ folks, non-monogamous structures, kink communities, and every identity in between
Learning evidence-based frameworks like CBT, EFT, and Sensate Focus

And yes—doing a lot of your own inner work

Sex therapy training challenged every belief I had been handed.

It forced me to look at my own conditioning, shame, pleasure, identity, and relational patterns.

You cannot do this work without meeting yourself first.

And honestly?

That’s when I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.

The Calling: People Deserve More Than “Just Communicate”

When clients started coming to me, one theme became impossible to ignore:

Most people were never taught how to understand their body, communicate their needs, or hold space for their sexuality without shame.

We teach people how to multiply fractions and label provinces, but we don’t teach:

How to regulate your nervous system
How desire actually works
How to set boundaries
How to feel pleasure
How to stay connected across long-term relationships
How identity evolves over a lifetime

Sex therapy is not “fixing your sex life.”

It’s learning who you are—in your body, in your pleasure, in your relationships, in your truth.

And watching clients crack open, shed stories that never belonged to them, reclaim desire, rebuild confidence, or name an identity they never had permission to explore…

That is the best damn part of this work.

The Work Today: Clinical, Compassionate, and a Little No-Bullshit

When I founded The Intimacy Practice, I wanted a space that felt:

Shame-free
Evidence-based
LGBTQ2S+ affirming
Trauma-informed
Welcoming to curious beginners and seasoned explorers
And yes—full of real, authentic conversation

I swear like a sailor.

I believe in straight talk.

I don’t sugarcoat, and I don’t tiptoe around the truth.

And people love it or at least I think they do lol.

Because we’re all tired of being told to be polite about the parts of ourselves that matter the most.

Why I Stay in This Work

Because every day I watch someone:

Take a breath they didn’t know they were holding

Say something out loud for the first time
Feel desire after years of shutdown
Realize they’re not broken
Experience pleasure without shame
Step into an identity that feels like home
Experience intimacy without fear
Rebuild confidence from the inside out

Sex therapy is not just a career.

It’s a calling.

It’s an honour.

It’s a revolution in slow, tender motion.

If You’re Thinking About Becoming a Sex Therapist

Here’s the truth:

It’s not easy.

It will challenge you.

It will ask you to confront your own stuff.

It will stretch your heart, your mind, and your worldview.

It will demand compassion, boundaries, humility, and continual education.

But if you feel pulled toward this work—if something inside you knows that sexuality is a doorway to healing—then this field might be exactly where you belong.

The world needs practitioners who can hold brave, honest, educated space.

People deserve support that doesn’t judge them or shrink them.

Sexuality deserves to be talked about with respect, knowledge, and openness.

And maybe… this is the beginning of your story, too.

Xoxo Chantelle